YO MOMMA – Really?

At what magical age does YO MOMMA end and YOU begin?  Is there a magical age?  For some reason, 27 years of age was magical for me.  Now, consider the fact that at that time, I had two kids.  Got married right out of high school (graduated a year early) and three years later, we had our first child, our daughter…let the journey begin.  It was around that time that I begin to think for me and what I wanted.  Not, “What would Momma say about this? or think about this”?  Now…I’ve told you a little bit about my YO MOMMA and she was not the busy body type….in your face….model of YO MOMMA.  But still, I thought as a child and not a woman…for whatever reason.  I saw things while raising my kids that made me wonder HOW? WHY? could a YO MOMMA allow this or that to something they loved this much?   We need a counselor for those answers and since we are just “talking”….let’s keep it JUST US.

When do you start to realize your choices are your own?  When do you start to understand that the blame game must stop in order for you to grow?  For women, I think it often has to do with their Mommas.  I like to think that my daughter and son had a pretty good YO MOMMA.   I was never perfect but I gave it all I had and both of them were a huge focal point for me… I think they would agree.  My daughter told me one time that one day it just hit her…that her YO MOMMA was a woman first and still is.  I think that day we hit a huge changing point in our relationship.  What a revelation for a young woman!  My daughter will be 36 tomorrow and I think it was about five years or more ago that she shared that with me.  In order for that to happen, I had to know myself that I was a woman before my kids, a woman with her own thoughts outside of parenting… and that now that part of my job was over. I had to learn how to become a woman of my own again.  Now maybe you dont suffer with things like that.  Maybe it’s because I grew up around alcoholism…who knows?  Whatever the reason….it was a revelation for me and I hope one for my daughter.   I think it’s important to understand all aspects that we can of the people in our lives.  Where they came from, what they hoped to achieve in life and if you only label them “YO MOMMA”…sometimes that never takes place.  We have to “see” the person for who they really are or were.

As I’ve grown older and think back about my YO MOMMA’s life, I realize much of what she must have went through, her insecurities with her own YO MOMMA….and understanding her humanity…helps me understand, forgive and move on.

So….blogging is a great place to share your thoughts….My hope for you today is that YO MOMMA (whether she is alive or gone) is not causing you grief or pain.   I hope your thoughts are good ones whether she did a great job at parenting you or not.  Find something you appreciated about YO MOMMA and if there is nothing…set out to be a better one yourself.  If your parenting years are over…consider a new improved Grandmother version of yourself.  Point is…It’s never too late.

YO MOMMA was YO MOMMA…good, bad or ugly.  Decide which version you want to be and then get to work on accomplishing it.  Cheers…to YO MOMMA and to YO!

 

YO MOMMA Series…

Have we agreed that maybe the time to stop blaming YO MOMMA is at hand?  Good, now we can proceed.

Let’s take ONE scenario and talk it through.  You have this “YO MOMMA”.  She’s a party girl.  Not exactly the cupcake baking model you’d hoped for but hey…people seem to like her and she’s not that bad to you personally.  Her parties come and go…your school nights pass by with little to no effort on her part in your big scheme of life but you manage.  Cheering or Football practices come and go and somehow you find a ride and again…you manage.  Occasionally you hear an “atta boy or girl” and your smile widens.  Man, it feels good when YO MOMMA gives you that smile….the one that makes you believe she totally has it in her…that she could ROCK this thing called Motherhood with just a tiny bit of effort…..sometimes it makes it seem all worth while.  Then the parties began again….mayhaps with a vengence, depending on what’s going on in her life and your soul despairs.  Here we go  again.  BUT….you manage.  YO MOMMA may miss a very important event in your life…maybe too much drink?  Maybe not as aware of what is going on your life as you’d hoped….BUT….you manage.  Beginning to get the picture?  Your DNA may be a little stronger than you thought.  YOU find a way to manage.  Fast forward 20 years.  You’ve been “managing” for too long and you’re over it.  The blaming begins. Maybe it didn’t take that long.  Maybe it never stopped.  “If YO MOMMA had just been there for you a little more…If YO MOMMA had showed you the love you needed…IF YO MOMMA had just shown you how life should be lived”….All true. 

Get it out…Scream it out loud….Cry it out…Kick…Stomp… talk it over with a friend, or a therapist but GET IT OUT!  Because…that part of life is now over.  Take the good parts you remember (if you have some) and get moving in the direction of YOUR choice.  YO MOMMA had her reasons or her excuses just like the rest of us.  Maybe you’re mad at GOD for choosing her DNA for you.  Whomever you’re mad at….GET OVER IT!  Because after all, excuses are just excuses…no matter who they come from.  They may have merit but if they are not serving YOU in getting on with your life…WHY keep them in your circle of life…of love?

Like I’ve said…I am a YO MOMMA and I have also been a YO KID with a not so perfect home life.  I loved my Mom very much.  She was very much like the scenario presented above. Fun loving, always had friends, loved to dance….was the life of every party and her life was one big party.  She loved the beach, she loved to read, she loved a new convertible car usually baby blue and large but the operative word here is LOVE.  The words she spoke had love in them very often. Her actions spoke that she loved herself a little more than her children at times.

There comes a time in all of our lives where we have to choose to make a new choice, maybe our first choice but NOW is the time.  NOW is your time.  MO…YO MOMMA to come…

Yo Momma Series

If you’re still blaming YO MOMMA about your weight issues…

 

If you’re still blaming YO MOMMA for the bad hairdo in the fifth grade…

 

If you’re still blaming YO MOMMA for your insecurities in life….

 

If you’re still blaming YO MOMMA for your failed marriage (s)….

 

If you’re still blaming YO MOMMA for WHY you’re afraid of living….

 

If you’re still blaming YO MOMMA for anything…….LISTEN UP!

 

More details coming soon…